X-Cues

Fire up and fuel my anger with words

unashamed, actions of no thoughts

excuses unabashedly a slap of audacity

Water not the words of devaluation

with tired words of so called evaluation

isolate me with time not mine to be had

scar the memory of will so unwilled

lash each syllable at my heart so full of honest love

innocent love truthful love. Use, useful or just used.

you ponder not the pain you cause

the hurt you inflict, inconsiderate selfish…

give back the time that should be mine

to grow, to fill with happy times, memories of new

You anger me to sleeplessness

incite physical oppression to aggression

turn infliction to contradiction confusion all consuming

words and actions generate usefulness

when needed.

Go forth, go to, just go!

Return when time has healed itself

return when care has entered your single-minded thoughts

return when mental astuteness aligns

itself with a higher self and not a

tired unrepenting excused ego self – unknowing yet knowing

contradiction lies deep within so-called wisdom.

A poem from 2016 I never published.

Stream of consciousness 

Esteemed soul, divine purpose
drive to my minds eye of truth
take back the streams of consciousness
that drives me to mad endeavours
of momentary suicide
to die or not to die but to discuss
the righteousness of others that befell
Me
inherited wickedness of deceit
but who is the deceiver, them or me
lie me gently in the arms of
forgetfulness of resentment of
the quietness that is beauteous
the silence of numbness
that guilt free, pain free death
of selective amnesia
coat me with your paint, armour
me with destruction
self pity, self hate bears heavy burdens
on my mind, draining my emotions of
comfort. The comfort of hate.
leave my body innocuous cuts that fill
with swollen words of lies. The language
of desert storms blistering my spirited
youth into undefinable eras of old age.
search for me when time remembers
that I did once exist.